Monday, November 06, 2006
Knock, Knock! Who's There? Dumbass. Dumbass Who?
Yesterday afternoon, we headed over to Wayner's and Janner's to visit. Their son and family are in town for a week, and we wanted to all get together. Now, I admit I haven't been over there in a couple of weeks, but......
OK, here's what happened. We came down Wayner's street, and I saw his black Infiniti sitting in the driveway. That puzzled me, because it's always in the garage. I parked on the street, and TFMCD, Ladybug, and I disembarked from FINZUP2 and headed up to the door.
I knew they would leave the door unlocked, because I told them we were on our way. So I banged loudly on the door to signal our arrival, opened the door, and entered.
Where the hell is everybody?
No Wayners, no Janners, no Tooter or Kimmie, no munchkin. Must be out by the pool.....I walked across the foyer and peered through the windows. The pool area appeared deserted.
Hellllooooo? Where are you guys??
Silence.
I looked to my right. What the....? Janners replaced the naked bronze lady with a bunch of African stuff hanging on the wall.
They've never been to Africa.....
And what's with these big-ass vases with ribbons tied around 'em?
I don't remember those.
By this time, Ladybug was in the living room, ready to make herself at home with her backpack full of whatever stuff six-year-olds haul around with them, and a couple of stuffed animals.
But where the heck did TFMCD get off to?
She's behind me, standing in the doorway. She's looking at me like I just parachuted out of a hot air baloon wearing nothing but a pair of roller skates and an Elvis wig.
She says to me, matter of factly,
"This is not their house."
There might have been the slightest inflection on the end of that statement that could be interpreted as ", dumbass." But TFMCD is too polite and classy to actually say that, except in the most extreme cases, which I have on more than one occasion qualified for.
I hurriedly gathered up Ladybug and her accessories, looked one last time around to see if the residents actually noticed us wandering into their home (They did not, as far as I know), and hauled our asses out of there. Damn! The houses are virtually identical!
We went next door to the correct house, making note along the way that it was not a black Infiniti in the aforementioned driveway, but a BMW. The Infiniti was at the correct home, safely nestled in its garage. Being the open and honest Crime Dog that I am, I confessed all as soon as we walked through the door. I know, I know, big mistake.
A little later, we were all discussing what little Emmie, Wayners and Janners grandbaby, was calling everyone. "NaNa and PaPa" carried the day for the grandparents. "But what will she call Uncle Mark?" asked Tooter. Wayners provided the answer:
"Dumbass"
|
OK, here's what happened. We came down Wayner's street, and I saw his black Infiniti sitting in the driveway. That puzzled me, because it's always in the garage. I parked on the street, and TFMCD, Ladybug, and I disembarked from FINZUP2 and headed up to the door.
I knew they would leave the door unlocked, because I told them we were on our way. So I banged loudly on the door to signal our arrival, opened the door, and entered.
Where the hell is everybody?
No Wayners, no Janners, no Tooter or Kimmie, no munchkin. Must be out by the pool.....I walked across the foyer and peered through the windows. The pool area appeared deserted.
Hellllooooo? Where are you guys??
Silence.
I looked to my right. What the....? Janners replaced the naked bronze lady with a bunch of African stuff hanging on the wall.
They've never been to Africa.....
And what's with these big-ass vases with ribbons tied around 'em?
I don't remember those.
By this time, Ladybug was in the living room, ready to make herself at home with her backpack full of whatever stuff six-year-olds haul around with them, and a couple of stuffed animals.
But where the heck did TFMCD get off to?
She's behind me, standing in the doorway. She's looking at me like I just parachuted out of a hot air baloon wearing nothing but a pair of roller skates and an Elvis wig.
She says to me, matter of factly,
"This is not their house."
There might have been the slightest inflection on the end of that statement that could be interpreted as ", dumbass." But TFMCD is too polite and classy to actually say that, except in the most extreme cases, which I have on more than one occasion qualified for.
I hurriedly gathered up Ladybug and her accessories, looked one last time around to see if the residents actually noticed us wandering into their home (They did not, as far as I know), and hauled our asses out of there. Damn! The houses are virtually identical!
We went next door to the correct house, making note along the way that it was not a black Infiniti in the aforementioned driveway, but a BMW. The Infiniti was at the correct home, safely nestled in its garage. Being the open and honest Crime Dog that I am, I confessed all as soon as we walked through the door. I know, I know, big mistake.
A little later, we were all discussing what little Emmie, Wayners and Janners grandbaby, was calling everyone. "NaNa and PaPa" carried the day for the grandparents. "But what will she call Uncle Mark?" asked Tooter. Wayners provided the answer:
"Dumbass"
