Thursday, November 02, 2006
Notes From The Road
Yesterday was a road day for the Crime Dog. Lots of cases, stretching from the East Valley to the West Valley, and all insisting on my attention. So, as usual, I made the most of my windshield time by trying to be especially observant, so I can share with my dear readers some of the more enlightening sights I encountered. My personal favorites were:
1) At a greasy spoon on the west side, I found the largest menu I have ever seen. It was one of those electric ones, like in all fast food places, nailed to the wall behind the counter and backlit. But this one was freakin' huge, stretching the full width of the counter, fully four feet tall, and every line filled with a different menu item. We're talkin' close to 100 square feet of menu, and not an inch of wasted space - no ads, no pretty pictures of chicken sandwiches, just line after line of food items and their prices, everything from hamburgers to complex Mexican food platters. So, I pointed to the vast menu and said to the lovely young lady behind the counter:
You must have some terrific cooks in this place, to be able to prepare that many items!
She turned and stared up and down at the menu for several seconds, as though it was the first time she had ever seen it, then turned back to me and casually told me,
Yeah, it's big. But our cooks aren't very good.
2) A little while later, I saw a car in front of me at a red light. I could see the back of the driver's head, and in the passenger seat, a large dog, just chilling and looking out the windshield like a human passenger. The kicker was the car's bumper sticker:
Dog Is My Co-Pilot
3) Did you know there's a nondescript looking place on West Camelback with a big sign out front that reads "Young Poong"? I wonder what the hell they're marketing in that place?
4) And finally, at 51st Avenue and Camelback, a used-car dealer has a giant inflatable Statue of Liberty on the roof. But Lady Liberty's right arm must have a leak, because it's bent backwards over her shoulder to the point that it looks for all the world like she's scratching her back with her torch. Thank God her arm wasn't longer.....
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1) At a greasy spoon on the west side, I found the largest menu I have ever seen. It was one of those electric ones, like in all fast food places, nailed to the wall behind the counter and backlit. But this one was freakin' huge, stretching the full width of the counter, fully four feet tall, and every line filled with a different menu item. We're talkin' close to 100 square feet of menu, and not an inch of wasted space - no ads, no pretty pictures of chicken sandwiches, just line after line of food items and their prices, everything from hamburgers to complex Mexican food platters. So, I pointed to the vast menu and said to the lovely young lady behind the counter:
You must have some terrific cooks in this place, to be able to prepare that many items!
She turned and stared up and down at the menu for several seconds, as though it was the first time she had ever seen it, then turned back to me and casually told me,
Yeah, it's big. But our cooks aren't very good.
2) A little while later, I saw a car in front of me at a red light. I could see the back of the driver's head, and in the passenger seat, a large dog, just chilling and looking out the windshield like a human passenger. The kicker was the car's bumper sticker:
Dog Is My Co-Pilot
3) Did you know there's a nondescript looking place on West Camelback with a big sign out front that reads "Young Poong"? I wonder what the hell they're marketing in that place?
4) And finally, at 51st Avenue and Camelback, a used-car dealer has a giant inflatable Statue of Liberty on the roof. But Lady Liberty's right arm must have a leak, because it's bent backwards over her shoulder to the point that it looks for all the world like she's scratching her back with her torch. Thank God her arm wasn't longer.....
