Friday, October 28, 2005
Eric , The Columbus of Conky Tonkers
Run to the light, Eric! Run to the light! How long do you think it will take The Fetching Mrs. Crime Dog to find this little spot at Key West?
Having given Eric The Cheap Bastard his name last spring at Phins To The West, I have now decreed that name revoked. Sure, he's still a cheap bastard, but today he is an adventurer, an explorer, a Zebulon Pike or Daniel Boone.
You see, Eric has taken the fetching Annette and headed east to deepest, darkest Ft. Lauderdale. There, they hope to find their rental car above water,full of gas, and without any trees or billboard signs lying on top of it. They are blazing the path for those of us too meek to venture forth into that great unknown. They are challenging gas shortages, boil orders, freeway closures and curfews. They will venture through the downtrodden cities with their huddled masses, past the carnivorous reptiles of the River of Grass, past the old Mosquito Coast, screaming into the abyss and conquering their worst fears in their quest to be the first of us to reach the southernmost point in the continental United States. Eric is telling us all:
Follow in my wake,
You've not that much at stake,
For I have plowed the seas,
And smoothed the troubled waters.
OK, so maybe I romanticized the whole excursion just a wee bit.....but nonetheless, Eric the Cheap Bastard shall henceforth and forever be known as "Eric The Adventurer." Or at least he will be called that until he manages to do something stupid enough for me to change it again. That should be simple enough with a couple of days in Key West, an endless supply of alcohol, and me to instigate trouble.
Ooooh, wait.....how about "Eric The Trailblazer"? It doesn't really have the vowel flow of "Adventurer," but it's cool. Or maybe "Eric The Pioneer"?
Maybe we should just stay with "Adventurer." I don't know......suggestions?
