Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Ultimate Zydecoldsmobile
ZipPo the Pirate got me thinking today, and that's dangerous. In his blog over at Actual Miles, he listed some of the things he would buy if money was no object. Great choices all, but he wants Texas. All of it. Hell, I hate mowing my own backyard. I can't imagine what it would be like to have responsibility for the upkeep of a whole entire state, especially a really big one like Texas.
Naaah. I'll use the money to make life easier and reduce my own responsibilities. A big batch of mental floss is what I need. Jellyfish don't pay rent, you know. But I have to agree with my man ZipPo on the whole George Jetson flying car thing. I'm not really sure why one hasn't already been built, as a matter of fact. Think about it: We 'Mericans put a man on the moon 36 years ago, and brought him back, with less technology than now sits upon my desk before me for my blogging pleasure. But somehow, we can't build a car that flies? Or at least, one that gets, like, 500 miles per gallon, doesn't destroy the atmosphere doing so, and chicks will still dig it?
So the Crime Dog will spend his money on the next best thing: a car that not only flies, but vaults, jumps, starts and drives itself when called upon - even underwater. One with a cop motor, a four hundred and forty cubic inch plant, cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, and one that was made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. That's right, friends, I'm talking about the Bluesmobile.
Eat your heart out, Jetson.
Illinois Nazis hate it, so it must be cool. And it can destroy every square foot of a crowded suburban shopping mall without laying a scratch on the customers. That's a huge plus. Now, if I can just get the *&%$#@ cigarette lighter fixed........Wow, I just realized I'm hungry for some dry white toast and fried chicken.
