Thursday, February 24, 2005
Nebraska Air Pollution, Naked Prosecutors, and a Dummer School?
Beware the "Nebraska car bomb."
And you thought you had a shitty job. Workers at a Nebraska feed lot have been busily pulling apart a 100' long, 50' deep pile of burning manure. It seems large dung piles generate their own heat, so this one started smoldering, pissing off the local yokels. It took four months of digging just to put it out. The part of this that I don't understand is: If big piles of bullshit spontaneously combust, why isn't Washington D.C. a raging inferno about now? The White House alone has bullshit by the ton. That place should be able to melt titanium.
A Florida prosecutor has found himself on the hot seat for a change, instead of putting other folks there. After downing a few too many brews in Key West, guardian of the law A.J. Tasker stripped buck naked, ran out and jumped into the back seat of a buddy's car as a prank. Turns out he had the wrong car. The woman waiting in the car for her boyfriend screamed, the boyfriend showed up, 911 got dialed, and we now have People vs Tasker. So, yet another thing I don't understand: How can you get arrested for being naked in public in Key West? It is, after all, Key West. Dude would have gotten an award if he had just done this during Fantasy Fest.
Did you know that the nation's oldest independent boarding school is actually named the "Governor Dummer Academy?" Now, school trustees have decided to drop the "Dummer" from the school's name, pissing off a lot of students and alumni who apparently like being referred to as Dummer graduates. Expected to follow suit in short order are the trustees of Foole University, Dumass College, Schitt/Hedd Aeronautical Institute, and Asswipe (ah-SWEEP-eh) Academy.
