Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
If you're ever injured in an auto accident, and you are tempted to call "The Eagle," Goldberg and Osborne, you may first wish to consider this:
OK, first off, getting a lawyer for a case of undisputed liability and non-major injuries is a bad idea to begin with. You're going to lose money. Even should you decide to hire an attorney, at least get one that's smart, with a smart staff.
I was down at the Pima Couty Sheriff's Office last week to pick up a couple of reports. An SUV laden with a Goldberg and Osborne advertising paint job arrived about the same time. The driver took great pains to back into his parking space in front of the records office. I'll never understand why some idiots insist on backing in to a parking space every time, blocking traffic while they go back and forth, trying to get the vehicle straight. I can see it for a cop car, which might need to take off quickly on a call, but Goldberg and Osborne? I guess the guy was concerned that an ambulance might go by and he would have to give chase.
I was waiting my turn when Mr Goldberg and Osborne came in, announcing loudly that he was there to pick up some reports that had already been pulled. The clerk found them and handed them over.
That'll be $5.25, please.
"What? I was told it would be $5.75!"
No, sir. It's just $5.25.
"Look, I know I was told $5.75!"
Sorry, sir. I can only accept $5.25 from you.
OK, what do we learn from this scenario? Just because you work for a bunch of snake in the grass lawyers doesn't mean you have to negotiate the cost of everything. And when you do negotiate, make sure you are negotiatinng in the correct direction for your client. Negotiate settlement values up, and expenses down. We all know that those expenses are coming out of the client's end, not yours.
On a side note, I was discussing Parrotheadism with another lawyer a few weeks ago. He was of the correct mindset, so I suggested he join a club. He declined, asking "Just how many lawyers are in your club?" Good question. Perhaps about the same as the number of Jehovah's Witnesses?
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OK, first off, getting a lawyer for a case of undisputed liability and non-major injuries is a bad idea to begin with. You're going to lose money. Even should you decide to hire an attorney, at least get one that's smart, with a smart staff.
I was down at the Pima Couty Sheriff's Office last week to pick up a couple of reports. An SUV laden with a Goldberg and Osborne advertising paint job arrived about the same time. The driver took great pains to back into his parking space in front of the records office. I'll never understand why some idiots insist on backing in to a parking space every time, blocking traffic while they go back and forth, trying to get the vehicle straight. I can see it for a cop car, which might need to take off quickly on a call, but Goldberg and Osborne? I guess the guy was concerned that an ambulance might go by and he would have to give chase.
I was waiting my turn when Mr Goldberg and Osborne came in, announcing loudly that he was there to pick up some reports that had already been pulled. The clerk found them and handed them over.
That'll be $5.25, please.
"What? I was told it would be $5.75!"
No, sir. It's just $5.25.
"Look, I know I was told $5.75!"
Sorry, sir. I can only accept $5.25 from you.
OK, what do we learn from this scenario? Just because you work for a bunch of snake in the grass lawyers doesn't mean you have to negotiate the cost of everything. And when you do negotiate, make sure you are negotiatinng in the correct direction for your client. Negotiate settlement values up, and expenses down. We all know that those expenses are coming out of the client's end, not yours.
On a side note, I was discussing Parrotheadism with another lawyer a few weeks ago. He was of the correct mindset, so I suggested he join a club. He declined, asking "Just how many lawyers are in your club?" Good question. Perhaps about the same as the number of Jehovah's Witnesses?
