Parrothead Ramblings

Stolen unapologetically from AZCentral.com

It was 5:30 or so yesterday, and I was still working in the semi-private Crime Dog Salt Mine and Blogging Parlor - otherwise known as my office - when the phone rang. It was Bo:

Dad, the news said there's a big dust storm headed in, and if you don't turn on your pool pump, your water will turn to chocolate milk.

OK, that ended work for the day. I wasn't really worried about the "chocolate milk" thing, I just wanted to see this shit happen. So TFMCD and I, along with Ladybug and Mateo headed poolside to watch the show. I got outside, looked in all directions......nothing. Yeah, a few clouds maybe, a little breeze, but it was actually very pleasant for a June afternoon. Ladybug jumped in the pool to cool off. I busied myself checking the pool water.

A few minutes later, my attention was drawn to some movement overhead. I looked up, and it reminded me of that scene from The Day After Tomorrow, where all the birds are suddenly hauling ass across the sky in the same direction. They were flying in such large numbers, and in such obvious haste, that I found myself wondering less about where they were all going than what the hell they were running from. That's when I looked to the south.

Holy Shit! You seeing what I'm seeing?

A full scale Haboob was bearing down on us. And on 6/6/06, this ain't what you want to see coming after you. It was suddenly time to lock down the pool toys, turn on the pool pump, make like sheepherders, and get the flock outta there.

It blew over in a few minutes at about 35mph. Nothing new, just a lot of dirt. Monsoon season is nearly upon us, so this one was just a warm up act. We get them so often in July, that my good phriend Steve-O once told me that he always buys patio furniture based upon how he thinks it will look at the bottom of his pool.

Once it settled down, we headed out to buy a new refrigerator. Bad move. Seems they pretty much stopped making major appliances in the same color as our old stuff. We found a reefer we liked, but the nice lady politely informed me, "Sir, this model doesn't come in bisque."

Good thing we don't live in Bisque. Our house is in Gilbert.

"Sir, bisque is the color."

Cool, no problem. We need tan.

How the hell was I supposed to know "bisque" is "tan."

So, what color to choose? Stainless steel looks like I'd be constantly wiping it down. Black? Black is good. And, oh joy, they have it in black. Wrap it up and send it on over.

Oh, but wait a minute. You can't have just one black appliance, unless you're a single male. Then, you can have different colored everythings, and it's simply endearing. But when you're married, it means you're a tasteless cretin. What the hell? We needed a new dishwasher anyway. Throw in a range and something called a "micro-hood," and we were outta there for just under five G's.

And that's exactly what I said: GEEZ!

It took some cold draft beer and fried shrimp to get past the initial shock to my system. The shock to my budget? A wee bit more extreme. And we still need 1100 square feet of new tile.

Anybody got a tile insider who can hook me up?? I need a break. Bad.
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