Tuesday, May 23, 2006
All The News That's Fit To Ridicule
A Peoria High School kid decided to pull a prank on his fellow students yesterday. In my high school days, these activities was pretty common towards the end of the school year. Kids get antsy with the prospect of being set free for three months, and it gets the ol'juices flowing, causing them to engage in various forms of grabass. That's when classroom door locks get superglued, boxes full of garter snakes get released in hallways, porn gets placed in trophy cases, and various forms of stink bombs go off in high schools all across the country.
But this Peoria High kid reached a new zenith in the grand universe of dumbass-ness by showing up at school wearing a ski mask and acting suspicious. Next thing you know, the school is locked down and crawling with armed men, trying to stop the next Columbine. It probably didn't help when fellow students told the officers who the prankster was:
Hey, officer, it's OK. He's just screwing around. We know the guy. He's harmless.
"Really? That's a relief! What's his name?"
Zubair Hussaini.
"Yeah, right. Harmless. SWAT TEAM! MOVE IN! SNIPERS, YOU ALL HAVE A GREEN LIGHT! TAKE 'IM OUT!"
Too bad James Hamm got turned down by the Supreme Court for membership in the Arizona Bar. He could represent this kid. See, Hamm was convicted of murder, did 17 years, and then graduated from law school AND passed the bar exam. But now, he can't get a bar card. The court determined that "he had failed to establish the good moral character necessary to be admitted" to practic law in Arizona.
Wait.....did I hear that correctly? You're required to have "good moral character" to be a freakin' lawyer? Man, if they decide to vigorously enforce that little rule, we're going to have us a shitload of shysters on unemployment around here.
As for me, if I were accused of a crime, I'd pick a lawyer who was tried, convicted, did his time like a man, and improved himself to be my lawyer, rather than most of the shitbirds I have to deal with on a fairly regular basis. You know what they say:
99% of lawyers give a bad name to all the rest.
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But this Peoria High kid reached a new zenith in the grand universe of dumbass-ness by showing up at school wearing a ski mask and acting suspicious. Next thing you know, the school is locked down and crawling with armed men, trying to stop the next Columbine. It probably didn't help when fellow students told the officers who the prankster was:
Hey, officer, it's OK. He's just screwing around. We know the guy. He's harmless.
"Really? That's a relief! What's his name?"
Zubair Hussaini.
"Yeah, right. Harmless. SWAT TEAM! MOVE IN! SNIPERS, YOU ALL HAVE A GREEN LIGHT! TAKE 'IM OUT!"
Too bad James Hamm got turned down by the Supreme Court for membership in the Arizona Bar. He could represent this kid. See, Hamm was convicted of murder, did 17 years, and then graduated from law school AND passed the bar exam. But now, he can't get a bar card. The court determined that "he had failed to establish the good moral character necessary to be admitted" to practic law in Arizona.
Wait.....did I hear that correctly? You're required to have "good moral character" to be a freakin' lawyer? Man, if they decide to vigorously enforce that little rule, we're going to have us a shitload of shysters on unemployment around here.
As for me, if I were accused of a crime, I'd pick a lawyer who was tried, convicted, did his time like a man, and improved himself to be my lawyer, rather than most of the shitbirds I have to deal with on a fairly regular basis. You know what they say:
99% of lawyers give a bad name to all the rest.
