Friday, June 02, 2006
Notes From The Road
I was driving down the street today when I came across three Homeboys, Vatos Locos, walking down the street. They had that cholo swagger, the trademark sullen expression, the stereotypical Dickies, and one was even wearing a stocking cap. It's 108 degrees out there, dipshit.
I guess for gangsters, it's more important to look good than to feel good.
Anyway, besides this idiot wearing a stocking cap, you know what else made this scene funny? One of them was carrying a gas can.
Gas Can Dude, let me clue you in:
No stocking cap, no Dickies pants, no flannel shirt with only the top button fastened, no tattoos, and no sullen "Fuck The World" look on your face can save you. As long as you're walking down the street with a gas can in your hand, you're just another dumbass who ran out of gas.
I had a sports talk station on the car radio this morning, and I heard an ad for some outfit promising to help you screw your credit card company out of the money you owe them.
Do you have $10,000 or more in credit card debt? Are you stressed out because collectors are hassling you about your late payment? We can help! We can reduce the amount you owe by 40, 50 even as much as 60%, without filing bankruptcy! But you must have a minimum of $10,000 in credit card debt to qualify.
OK, let's say I'm the kind of guy who's looking to screw whoever I can out of money, and let's say further that I have $8,000 in credit card debt. Damn! I don't qualify. But wait a minute....I can do simple arithmetic.....you know, timeses and gazintas.....How about I run up another $8000 in credit card debt? Then I qualify, and these guys will slice my debt down to $6400! That's less than I owe now! What a deal. I love this country!
Can't you see 'em circling, honey? Can't you see 'em schooling around?
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I guess for gangsters, it's more important to look good than to feel good.
Anyway, besides this idiot wearing a stocking cap, you know what else made this scene funny? One of them was carrying a gas can.
Gas Can Dude, let me clue you in:
No stocking cap, no Dickies pants, no flannel shirt with only the top button fastened, no tattoos, and no sullen "Fuck The World" look on your face can save you. As long as you're walking down the street with a gas can in your hand, you're just another dumbass who ran out of gas.
I had a sports talk station on the car radio this morning, and I heard an ad for some outfit promising to help you screw your credit card company out of the money you owe them.
Do you have $10,000 or more in credit card debt? Are you stressed out because collectors are hassling you about your late payment? We can help! We can reduce the amount you owe by 40, 50 even as much as 60%, without filing bankruptcy! But you must have a minimum of $10,000 in credit card debt to qualify.
OK, let's say I'm the kind of guy who's looking to screw whoever I can out of money, and let's say further that I have $8,000 in credit card debt. Damn! I don't qualify. But wait a minute....I can do simple arithmetic.....you know, timeses and gazintas.....How about I run up another $8000 in credit card debt? Then I qualify, and these guys will slice my debt down to $6400! That's less than I owe now! What a deal. I love this country!
Can't you see 'em circling, honey? Can't you see 'em schooling around?
