Sunday, April 02, 2006
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About The Crime Dog But Were Smart Enough Not To Ask
OK, OK, I'll let you all off the hook.
You're all wrong:
1) The Crime Dog was actually born in Richmond VA, though he left immediately and has been back only once, passing through on a business trip when he was 46.
2) The Crime Dog and The Fetching Mrs. Dog actually met in high school in 1972, and have been together ever since.
3) Wastnawa was right - The Crime Dog's degree is in history. For what that's worth.
4) Nope. The Crime Dog's youngest child, The Z-Man, was born in Italy in 1980.
5) The Crime Dog did rise to the lofty rank of Staff Sergeant in the USAF, but it was while keeping a wary eye on the Evil Empire as a radio relay technician.
6) And there we have it. The only true statement in a whole line of bullshit and semi-bullshit. The Crime Dog was accepted for admisson to the Fall 1973 freshman class at Brigham Young University. My Mom thought it was a great idea, that it would straighten my youthful ass out. I joined the Air Force instead.
7) Close. The Crime Dog had an off day at the range in combat shooting, and finished .04 points (that's four one-hundredths of a stinking point) overall behind - get this - a park ranger.
8) Nope. It was in the barracks. What a dumbass. I got an Article 15 for it.
9) The Crime Dog did indeed get fined once for farting in little GI bar on an American military site in Turkey. Cost him $5.00 on the bar.
10) The closest the Crime Dog has ever come to the Caribbean was Key West last year. I'll get there. Someday I will.
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You're all wrong:
1) The Crime Dog was actually born in Richmond VA, though he left immediately and has been back only once, passing through on a business trip when he was 46.
2) The Crime Dog and The Fetching Mrs. Dog actually met in high school in 1972, and have been together ever since.
3) Wastnawa was right - The Crime Dog's degree is in history. For what that's worth.
4) Nope. The Crime Dog's youngest child, The Z-Man, was born in Italy in 1980.
5) The Crime Dog did rise to the lofty rank of Staff Sergeant in the USAF, but it was while keeping a wary eye on the Evil Empire as a radio relay technician.
6) And there we have it. The only true statement in a whole line of bullshit and semi-bullshit. The Crime Dog was accepted for admisson to the Fall 1973 freshman class at Brigham Young University. My Mom thought it was a great idea, that it would straighten my youthful ass out. I joined the Air Force instead.
7) Close. The Crime Dog had an off day at the range in combat shooting, and finished .04 points (that's four one-hundredths of a stinking point) overall behind - get this - a park ranger.
8) Nope. It was in the barracks. What a dumbass. I got an Article 15 for it.
9) The Crime Dog did indeed get fined once for farting in little GI bar on an American military site in Turkey. Cost him $5.00 on the bar.
10) The closest the Crime Dog has ever come to the Caribbean was Key West last year. I'll get there. Someday I will.
