Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Another wheeze, gasp Update
OK, who was praying/meditating/transmitting/whatever verb you prefer extra hard at about 4:30PM today? That was about the time Wayners suddenly healed. They kept him another day because of shortness of breath, causing concerns for pneumonia and other evil stuff. I talked to him on the phone earlier today and it went something like
B-R-R-R-R-ING!
Gasp, gasp "Hello?" Gasp
"Wayners? You feeling OK?"
Gasp,wheeze Yeh, just can't breeve. gasp
"WTF? What's wrong?"
wheeze "Dunno. Fluid in lung, some gasp thing swollen mebbe." wheeze
"You sound like you just ran a triathlon."
Gasp No.Just switched channels on the TV. Tired. Must...rest.....now....wheeze
So I called again to check in this evening on him.
"Hello."
(Pause)"Um, errr. May I speak to Wayners, please?"
"This is Wayners, you dipshit. You forget my voice already?"
"Huh? What happened? You sounded like the poster boy for Extreme Asthma Inhalers a few hours ago. Did they pull the fluid out of your lungs?"
"Nope. They just cleared up all of a sudden about 4:30."
He was breathing completely normally. Just like that. Whatever it was, it must have heard I was looking for Billy Rubens and gone off to warn his worthless ass. I've seen television preachers with bad hair and dimples make the lame walk on TV. And you'd have to be really, really lame to believe those pimples on the ass of organized religion can accomplish much more than to magically separate the poor and gullible from what little cash they have. Hell, back when I used to adjust bodily injury claims for a big insurance company, I miraculously healed a shitload of whiplash and TMJ cases with nothing more than a piece of paper with some numbers and the name of a bank written on it.
But this one was new to me. Whoever that was about 4:30PM, keep up the good work.
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B-R-R-R-R-ING!
Gasp, gasp "Hello?" Gasp
"Wayners? You feeling OK?"
Gasp,wheeze Yeh, just can't breeve. gasp
"WTF? What's wrong?"
wheeze "Dunno. Fluid in lung, some gasp thing swollen mebbe." wheeze
"You sound like you just ran a triathlon."
Gasp No.Just switched channels on the TV. Tired. Must...rest.....now....wheeze
So I called again to check in this evening on him.
"Hello."
(Pause)"Um, errr. May I speak to Wayners, please?"
"This is Wayners, you dipshit. You forget my voice already?"
"Huh? What happened? You sounded like the poster boy for Extreme Asthma Inhalers a few hours ago. Did they pull the fluid out of your lungs?"
"Nope. They just cleared up all of a sudden about 4:30."
He was breathing completely normally. Just like that. Whatever it was, it must have heard I was looking for Billy Rubens and gone off to warn his worthless ass. I've seen television preachers with bad hair and dimples make the lame walk on TV. And you'd have to be really, really lame to believe those pimples on the ass of organized religion can accomplish much more than to magically separate the poor and gullible from what little cash they have. Hell, back when I used to adjust bodily injury claims for a big insurance company, I miraculously healed a shitload of whiplash and TMJ cases with nothing more than a piece of paper with some numbers and the name of a bank written on it.
But this one was new to me. Whoever that was about 4:30PM, keep up the good work.
