Friday, June 10, 2005
Changing Of The Guard
Well, today is a day of transition for The Crime Dog. It's my current manager's last day. We'll just call him "PC." He's staying with our company, but is heading back to Northern California to be some sort of Marketing Director. A Marketing guy in NoCal? Geez, why not just get a tee shirt that says "I'm Gay" and put one of those rainbow stickers on the back of your car, Boss? Good thing he just got engaged. To a woman.
He's done a nice job for someone who was completely inexperienced with investigative work, and for whatever reason was suddenly thrust into managing an investigative unit. It's sort of like taking the dude who manages Starbucks, and suddenly making him a police lieutenant. Next thing you know, the cops are all fucked up from drinking non-fat-decaf-low-foam-no-sugar-grande-mocha-lattes and treating all the bad guys like valued customers. "Want me to cuff you from the front so you can nibble at your biscotti, sir?"
As it turned out, he wasn't afraid to admit he didn't know shit, so he learned as he went. He covered my back, didn't micromanage my work, and only got after my ass when I deserved it. And the dude knew his Pulp Fiction, too. We could carry on entire conversations as Vincent and Jules. "Did you just order a five dollar shake? That's milk and ice cream, right?" "Check out the big brain on Brett! You a smart motherfucker!" "Sheee-it negro. That's all you had to say!"
Well done, PC. I'll see you around.
The new manager is top-drawer all the way. She brings her "A" game to every case, and is one of the best shoe-leather investigators I know. She's not afraid to kick some ass when needed, or to turn on the charm when that's what it takes. Oh, and she can pound a beer or two as well.
Me, I'll never be a manager. Unless you count that I do manage to piss off everybody eventually. PC will probably be pissed if he finds out I compared him to a Starbucks manager. Some guy from NoCal will be pissed off over the "gay marketer" thing, and someone else will be pissed off that I used the word "negro," even though I lifted it in context from one of most popular and critically acclaimed films of the 1990s.
I learned a wonderful phrase when I was GI. It fits well into most uncomfortable situations, and has stood the test of time. It is:
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Feel free to use it as you see fit.
