Thursday, June 09, 2005
Anybody Got A Cousin In Key West?
Yeah, and the toilets are $5.00 a flush, so "if it's yellow, let it mellow."I think I'll put my house up for rent. How does $8,000 per month sound? Just send me a check, and you can move in next week. Hell, for that kind of money, I'll buy ten more houses and rent 'em all. You can even bring your dog.
We've been looking for Key West lodging for Meeting of the Minds for several weeks now.It seems those folks down there are sitting on a bunch of wood-framed stucco gold mines. I'll stay home before I pay some asshole $2000 to use his house for one freakin' week. It just ain't gonna happen. I know, I know, there's plenty of people who will. After all, why are the prices so damned high? Because they'll get it, that's why.
Hey, I just had a great idea. How about you and me buy houses in Key West next door to one another. We'll each rent our house for one week a month, and stay with one another while our respective houses are being used. That leaves us three weeks a month to enjoy our own houses, two of them alone, and we'll make enough to pay our mortgages and earn a little profit to boot. We can save that profit up, then go off somewhere and rent some other asshole's house for a week. Mortgage paid, vacation paid, what could be better?
It's a scam. No question about it. Get this: the place we were considering charges you $35 just to check in, and another $25 for a "reservation fee."
Huh? It costs me $60 to make a reservation and check in? Then, it's another $140 for "trip insurance," so if you die in a fiery plane crash on the way, these assholes still get paid.
Well, fuck them. All of 'em. I got me a $89.99 room at the good ol' Days Inn. They don't charge shit to make the reservation for me, and check in - if you can believe this - is FREE!
You see, The Fetching Mrs Crime Dog and I could give a flying cow cookie less about the quality of accomodations. If it's clean, in a decent area, and the A/C works, it's fine with us. We just need someplace to sleep, shower, and store our shit until we go home. We ain't flying to Key West to hang around a motel room, or somebody's stupid house.
Of course, if anybody has a time share you ain't usin' about that time, give me a call..........
