Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Damn! Just Damn!
Friday night on the cruise, the last night before returning to the real world, I checked and found I still had a shitload of those little bar credit coupons with the cruise line.
A TRAVESTY! THIS INJUSTICE CANNOT STAND!
So it was down to the theater for the singer/songwriter show, perhaps the best show of the entire trip. Had a couple of drinks there, then up to dinner. The cute South African bar server greeted me, as always, by name.
"Will that be a Dewars on the rocks, Mr. Crime Dog?"
You bet. Make it a double. I got COO-puns. (a la Ron White)
So went the night: Make it a double, I got this round, yada yada. Finally, it's midnight, and we're in a bar with a rock band of what looks like Indonesians playing Led Zeppelin and Jim Hendrix. It's kind of surreal. Steve-O heads to the bar with a "want anything?" I check my pocket: one last coupon. I really don't want a beer, but what the Hell? This is a special moment. I raise the coupon high overhead with a triumphant fist pump, to resounding applause and adulation. In my head, anyway.
YES! I DID IT! I'm not giving one dime back to these overcharging fat cat bastards!
I got my bar tab the next day, showing all those times I didn't use my coupons. As it turns out, I actually gave 7,450 dimes back to those overcharging fat cat bsstards, but that doesn't negate my my triumph over the coupons, right?
Flash forward to this morning as I unpacked my scuba gear. I found a swimsuit in with it, and recalled that I packed it there because it was still a little damp at the time. Just as I started to toss it into the hamper, I thought it wise to check the pockets. What, dear reader, do you suppose was in the right pocket? Of course:
Two damp, but very negotiable, bar coupons.
Overcharging fat cat bastards got me after all.
Know anybody going on a Carnival cruise any time soon, that could use a couple of free drinks, compliments of The Crime Dog?
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A TRAVESTY! THIS INJUSTICE CANNOT STAND!
So it was down to the theater for the singer/songwriter show, perhaps the best show of the entire trip. Had a couple of drinks there, then up to dinner. The cute South African bar server greeted me, as always, by name.
"Will that be a Dewars on the rocks, Mr. Crime Dog?"
You bet. Make it a double. I got COO-puns. (a la Ron White)
So went the night: Make it a double, I got this round, yada yada. Finally, it's midnight, and we're in a bar with a rock band of what looks like Indonesians playing Led Zeppelin and Jim Hendrix. It's kind of surreal. Steve-O heads to the bar with a "want anything?" I check my pocket: one last coupon. I really don't want a beer, but what the Hell? This is a special moment. I raise the coupon high overhead with a triumphant fist pump, to resounding applause and adulation. In my head, anyway.
YES! I DID IT! I'm not giving one dime back to these overcharging fat cat bastards!
I got my bar tab the next day, showing all those times I didn't use my coupons. As it turns out, I actually gave 7,450 dimes back to those overcharging fat cat bsstards, but that doesn't negate my my triumph over the coupons, right?
Flash forward to this morning as I unpacked my scuba gear. I found a swimsuit in with it, and recalled that I packed it there because it was still a little damp at the time. Just as I started to toss it into the hamper, I thought it wise to check the pockets. What, dear reader, do you suppose was in the right pocket? Of course:
Two damp, but very negotiable, bar coupons.
Overcharging fat cat bastards got me after all.
Know anybody going on a Carnival cruise any time soon, that could use a couple of free drinks, compliments of The Crime Dog?
