Monday, March 26, 2007
Where To Start?
Man, do I have a lot to tell you people....I don't even know where to start. Eight days floating in the Caribbean Sea with 450 Parrotheads, three ports o' call, endless supplies of alcohol, pirates, togas, angry captains, fantastic music, and enough food to nourish the entire third world. We Parrotheads were the poster children for conspicuous consumption in a floating city built on conspicuous consumption.
So, I'll just start out with a one-question, multiple answer quiz. Here it is:
Of the following, which DID NOT happen to The Crime Dog?
1) Got his toenails painted after consuming too much rum.
2) Lost a very expensive scuba mask after consuming too much Carib beer.
3) Helped drink the Lido Bar on the 9th Deck right out of Bud Light.
4) Had his room number written on his feet with a Sharpie so as to not get hopelessly lost after drinking the Lido Deck Bar right out of Bud Light.
5) Met a giant lizard nicknamed "Pimp Daddy."
6) Smuggled more booze coming home than leaving.
7) Tried to drive a bull dozer 60 feet under the Caribbean.
8) Had people believing that a napkin dissolving in the pool was actually spooge.
9) Laughed hysterically when his fetching wife, while trying to keep her hat from blowing off, flung a bottle of smuggled rum into the Caribbean just off Guantanamo.
10) Led a bunch of folks in flipping off Castro as the ship passed Cuba, only to find out he had actually led a bunch of folks in flipping off the Dominican Republic.
11) In the immortal words of the classic song, got to "see the southern cross for the first time."
12) All the above happened to The Crime Dog.
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So, I'll just start out with a one-question, multiple answer quiz. Here it is:
Of the following, which DID NOT happen to The Crime Dog?
1) Got his toenails painted after consuming too much rum.
2) Lost a very expensive scuba mask after consuming too much Carib beer.
3) Helped drink the Lido Bar on the 9th Deck right out of Bud Light.
4) Had his room number written on his feet with a Sharpie so as to not get hopelessly lost after drinking the Lido Deck Bar right out of Bud Light.
5) Met a giant lizard nicknamed "Pimp Daddy."
6) Smuggled more booze coming home than leaving.
7) Tried to drive a bull dozer 60 feet under the Caribbean.
8) Had people believing that a napkin dissolving in the pool was actually spooge.
9) Laughed hysterically when his fetching wife, while trying to keep her hat from blowing off, flung a bottle of smuggled rum into the Caribbean just off Guantanamo.
10) Led a bunch of folks in flipping off Castro as the ship passed Cuba, only to find out he had actually led a bunch of folks in flipping off the Dominican Republic.
11) In the immortal words of the classic song, got to "see the southern cross for the first time."
12) All the above happened to The Crime Dog.
