Friday, August 04, 2006
Gripped In Fear, My Ass
So, police have managed to corner a couple of suspects in the so-called "Serial Shooter" assaults and murders. Maybe folks in other cities will now stop thinking we live in some sort of murderous free-fire zone, huddled under tables in our living rooms. I heard a national news story last week that said Phoenix was "gripped in fear."
Bullshit.
I don't know anybody that was "gripped in fear." Maybe a few folks who scare easily stopped going for their nightly walks or runs. More likely is that a lot of people decided to pair up when they went out, and kept a more vigilant eye on their surroundings. Hell, that's a good tactic even when you're not "gripped in fear" by some maniacal serial killer.
Truth be told, I don't know a single person who has been "gripped in fear," or has refused to go outside, or let their dog out to pinch a loaf, or has started packing heat when they didn't do so before all this fecal matter hit the rotary wind device. The talking heads who tell us whatever news they think we need to know tend to deliver it in whatever tone and emphasis they think will sell commercials. They're all full of shit.
Hey, Channel 10 is leading with "City Huddles In Fear!" We'd better go with "Citizens Paralyzed With Terror," or Earnhardt Dodge and Metropolitan Mattress will spend more of their ad money over there. No! Wait! Ooh, ooh! Let's run with "Serial Killers On The Rampage, and They're Outside Your Door!" That'll keep 'em from clicking those remotes!
Even today's local headlines blasted "Case Kept Valley In Grip Of Fear For More Than A Year."
I'm The Crime Dog, and even I did a double-take on that one. More than a year? I had no clue that I and my friends had all been gripped in fear for over a year. Man, that could explain a lot! No wonder I felt downhearted and depressed for a couple of months there. Shit man, I've been gripped in fear for over a year. It's a wonder I'm not an alcoholic, with multiple ulcers and a Prozac prescription.
OK, maybe I just didn'y pay enough attention, but I really don't remember hearing shit about this until a month or two ago. That's how gripped in fear I've been - I don't even remember when this all began.
Ask me where I was when JFK was shot, or Bobby, or Martin, or when Elvis died, or the Challenger exploded, or the planes hit the towers, and I can tell you exactly where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, and how I felt. But I got no clue about when it was that some shithead in dire need of having his worthless ass erased from the planet started shooting at people. Our good phriend Cheesehead believes every cricket that chirps and dog that barks after dusk signals that a crazed ax-murderer is coming after her. She ain't skeered. She hasn't blogged word one to my recollection, or said anything in my presence about the topic. "Gripped in fear?" I think not.
Gun haters will tell you this could have all been avoided if we just outlawed private ownership of handguns. Sure. Good plan. Here's a better one: How about all you folks supposedly "gripped in fear" out there go take the course and get your concealed carry permit? If the state issued about 50,000 more of those things, prospective bad guys might just think twice about assaulting an innocent civilian out on the street. What could possibly be better than some shithead would-be-rapist-homicidal-ax-murdering asshole getting his ticket punched by a 75-year-old Grandma out walking her poodle?
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Bullshit.
I don't know anybody that was "gripped in fear." Maybe a few folks who scare easily stopped going for their nightly walks or runs. More likely is that a lot of people decided to pair up when they went out, and kept a more vigilant eye on their surroundings. Hell, that's a good tactic even when you're not "gripped in fear" by some maniacal serial killer.
Truth be told, I don't know a single person who has been "gripped in fear," or has refused to go outside, or let their dog out to pinch a loaf, or has started packing heat when they didn't do so before all this fecal matter hit the rotary wind device. The talking heads who tell us whatever news they think we need to know tend to deliver it in whatever tone and emphasis they think will sell commercials. They're all full of shit.
Hey, Channel 10 is leading with "City Huddles In Fear!" We'd better go with "Citizens Paralyzed With Terror," or Earnhardt Dodge and Metropolitan Mattress will spend more of their ad money over there. No! Wait! Ooh, ooh! Let's run with "Serial Killers On The Rampage, and They're Outside Your Door!" That'll keep 'em from clicking those remotes!
Even today's local headlines blasted "Case Kept Valley In Grip Of Fear For More Than A Year."
I'm The Crime Dog, and even I did a double-take on that one. More than a year? I had no clue that I and my friends had all been gripped in fear for over a year. Man, that could explain a lot! No wonder I felt downhearted and depressed for a couple of months there. Shit man, I've been gripped in fear for over a year. It's a wonder I'm not an alcoholic, with multiple ulcers and a Prozac prescription.
OK, maybe I just didn'y pay enough attention, but I really don't remember hearing shit about this until a month or two ago. That's how gripped in fear I've been - I don't even remember when this all began.
Ask me where I was when JFK was shot, or Bobby, or Martin, or when Elvis died, or the Challenger exploded, or the planes hit the towers, and I can tell you exactly where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, and how I felt. But I got no clue about when it was that some shithead in dire need of having his worthless ass erased from the planet started shooting at people. Our good phriend Cheesehead believes every cricket that chirps and dog that barks after dusk signals that a crazed ax-murderer is coming after her. She ain't skeered. She hasn't blogged word one to my recollection, or said anything in my presence about the topic. "Gripped in fear?" I think not.
Gun haters will tell you this could have all been avoided if we just outlawed private ownership of handguns. Sure. Good plan. Here's a better one: How about all you folks supposedly "gripped in fear" out there go take the course and get your concealed carry permit? If the state issued about 50,000 more of those things, prospective bad guys might just think twice about assaulting an innocent civilian out on the street. What could possibly be better than some shithead would-be-rapist-homicidal-ax-murdering asshole getting his ticket punched by a 75-year-old Grandma out walking her poodle?
