Parrothead Ramblings

No contest. It's The Village People vs Lone Star attitude.

OK, OK, so I've been a bit of a slacker lately. Got a lot on my mind, I guess.

The New Year's Eve party was great, but seemed too short. It's like we just got started, and all of a sudden we were lifting champagne glasses and hugging one another. Even with home field advantage, I somehow managed to get my ass handed to me in darts. Of course, it was by Steve-O once, who had to be the DD that night, and to Big Jim, who doesn't really drink. So I guess my loss could have been alcohol-related. I'm sticking with that story. The next day, several of us managed to roll out of the rack and hit The Links at Queen Creek. If you want to be able to tell everybody what a great score you made on your last round, make sure that last round was The Links at Queen Creek. It's a Par 70, Championship course, but it has an ass-load of very short Par 4s that help keep your score down. Seemed like I was putting for birdies all day. Of course, I'm currently writing a book called "From Birdie to Bogey: The Power of the Three Putt."

So, all the Christmas stuff is down, packed away, and hidden in the back of a closet until Thanksgiving rolls around again. That whole process is a little depressing, isn't it? Now it's back to playing catch-up at work and looking forward to the Super Bowl, which is sort of like a holiday in and of itself. Of course, my team is out of it, but I have a back-up in the running: The Denver Broncos. They've always been my second most favoritest team, so I'm rooting for them and for whoever happens to be playing the Redskins.

But first things first: Tonight, it's hook 'em horns! Here's hoping Texas kicks the dog shit out of that team from California, named for a condom. I might have to turn down the volume if their band keeps playing that ridiculous march over and over and over again and again and again.......You know, this one, I think it's called "Tribute to Troy". That must have been joke fodder back when Aikman was at UCLA. Whatever, they never seem to tire of playing this annoyance. Of course, ASU is almost as bad with their rendition of Iron Man , but at least I like the Devils so it's easier to tolerate. So, who wins this game, all loyalties aside? Why, Texas, of course. National championships are nearly always won by the team with the better mascot. USC has Traveler, that beautiful white horse, but then they let him be ridden by some dude who looks like he's on his way to a Village People audition. Texas has Bevo. Now, Bevo is a genuine Texas Longhorn bull about the size of a station wagon. He has this look on his face that says "Step back, condom boy," and nobody, nobody rides Bevo. If Traveler happened to run into Bevo, his skirted rider would do an airborne face plant, Traveler would need some smelling salts, and Bevo would be looking around as if to say "What the hell was that?"

Here's to the University of Texas Longhorns and Bevo! The eyes of Texas are upon you!
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