Thursday, October 13, 2005
Vampires, Mummies, and The Holy Ghost
Don't laugh. It could happen to you......
Man, I love Halloween. When else do you get the opportunity to scare the living shit out of someone else's kids without fear of arrest? One year, we dressed Z-Man up like a stuffed scarecrow, which was not all that difficlult with his narrow ass, and he sat out on the porch with a big bowl of candy in his lap and a sign saying "Help Yourself." Little kids would come along, grab a piece of candy, and he would growl and make a grab at them. The kids would all scream and laugh and have a great time. Well, almost all. There were these two good-sized boys who were about 13 or so - too old for trick or treating, in my book. ZMan grabbed at them, and they both screamed like a couple of little girls and hauled ass. Those two didn't stop till they hit the street. That'll teach 'em to act their ages. They should be out scaring little kids for themselves, and stealing their candy like a normal teenager.
Another Halloween, I took this big green rubber iguana (named "Iggy") and stuck it in our supply locker at work. I tied one end of a rubber band to his leg, and taped the other end to the inside of the locker door. When the door was opened, nothing would happen until the rubber band stretched nice and tight, then that ugly bastard would launch out of there like something out of Jurassic Park. It got my secretary perfectly, leaping out right at chest level. There was this eardrum-rupturing shriek, and all I could see was a whirlwind of paper, pens, and staples like some sort of office-supply bomb had just gone off. Lucky for me she was a good sport with a strong heart.
Anyway, in honor of the Halloween Schoolboy Heart that so many of us have, I give you some real classics in the annals of pranksterism. Just click here and enjoy!
