Parrothead Ramblings

Sunday on the left, Tuesday's more pristine look on the right. "Not to worry, Crime Dog, that pool won't turn green." Yeah, right. A work in progress. Stay tuned.

Well, the pool at Crime Dog's Margaritaville West has finally been finished. I think. There's a couple of unfinished items that I'm nagging about, but we have a pool. Sort of.

See, they started filling it up last Thursday. By Friday morning, it was completely full. My builder's own literature, which they provided in a handy blue binder, says "from the moment" my pool is filled with water, the chemicals must be kept at ideal levels. So I called them up, told them someone needed to get their ass out here and get this equipment going, as well as getting some chemicals in it.

"Not to worry there, Crime Dog. We have you scheduled for some time Saturday. Don't know what time, but we'll be there."

Whaddaya mean Saturday? This thing is full, it needs its chemicals, it's monsoon season, and the water is 94 degrees. Somebody needs to get out here before my brand new pool turns green.

"Ah, dear, dear, naive Crime Dog.(scoffing laughter) There's plenty of time. Don't you worry, your pool won't turn green."

Friday night: The gates of monsoon Hell opened up. Lightning, shit blowing everywhere, trees blow over, and a big deluge of rain.

Saturday morning: "Hey, Fetching Mrs. Crime Dog, is it just me or is that pool a little green......? Ah, nevermind. The guy will be out today and all will be well."

Saturday night: Monsoon Hell II. There's more shit in the pool than in a stock pond. The pool guy has come out and set up the equipment and put in chemicals. He's even put that little vacuum cleaner thing in it, which for some reason has stopped running and sits motionless on the bottom of my pool.

Sunday morning: I awaken to a lovely emerald green swimming pool. I "shock" it with chlorine. No good. I take a water sample down to the store, tell the guy what the problem is and that I've shocked the pool already. He analyzes my water, says "It's a little high on chlorine."

Duh. I just shocked it, dipshit.

He produces this report that lists about four kinds of algae, none of which are in my sample.

Guess I have that new War of the Worlds alien invasion shit, because the water is green, Einstein.

So, dude sells me a bottle of this "algaecide" stuff for $35. I can't believe I'm shelling out cash when these are the guys who fucked up my pool to begin with.

The cement pond water is looking much better today, though I can't decide whether it still a little green looking to me. That's OK, though, they have a guy coming out to work with me and get me oriented on how to care for the pool. I'm sure he can straighten out any problems.

He'll be out on Wednesday. Sometime. Whatever happened to customer service? Sheesh, I guess I should have bought a pool from Nordstrom's.
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