Thursday, July 14, 2005
It Finally Happened! I'm SOMEBODY!!
Well, everybody is beginning to come around a little from Grandma Crime Dog's passing. It's a little better every day, though it still hurts bad. It hurts worst when I'm alone with my thoughts, so The Fetching Mrs. Crime Dog has been very diligent about sticking to me like hook-and-loop Velcro. She's the hook, and I'm looped.
Then, as if they knew I needed a lift, an old, trusted venerable institution stepped up and brightened my week. They sent me a lovely card and invitation, requesting that I join them.
I am honored. Honored! See, they don't invite just anybody. I'm special.
Yes, that's right. I just got my first official invitation from AARP. That's how I know I'm special. They usually only send those to old guys. I couldn't fill out that form and send my check for $21 for a two-year membership in fast enough. I ran to the mailbox to get it on its merry little way back to AARP. I'm gonna call them on Monday to see if they got it yet.
This opens so many new doors and possibilities for me! It frees me from all of my old hang-ups about wearing, saying, and doing the cool, hip things that divide young guys from old guys. The only problem is deciding what I want to do first with this new lease on life. So, I've decided to make a list, but I need some help prioritizing it and adding to it. Here's what I have so far:
1) Drive 50 in the fast lane on the 101.
2) Wear black socks with my shorts and white velcro-closure Rockport sneakers.
3) Get some of those cost-effective, durable, Junior Soprano eyeglasses.
4) Call the Barry Young Show three times per week. Minimum.
6) Eat the Early Bird Buffet at the Shoney's in Apache Junction.
7) Turn my Parrothead Club beret around the right way.
8) Get one of those three-wheel bicycles and put red warning flags on it.
9) Have engaging conversation with other members. Topic: Our prostates.
10) Move to Sun Lakes. Buy a golf cart.
Any other suggestions?
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Then, as if they knew I needed a lift, an old, trusted venerable institution stepped up and brightened my week. They sent me a lovely card and invitation, requesting that I join them.
I am honored. Honored! See, they don't invite just anybody. I'm special.
Yes, that's right. I just got my first official invitation from AARP. That's how I know I'm special. They usually only send those to old guys. I couldn't fill out that form and send my check for $21 for a two-year membership in fast enough. I ran to the mailbox to get it on its merry little way back to AARP. I'm gonna call them on Monday to see if they got it yet.
This opens so many new doors and possibilities for me! It frees me from all of my old hang-ups about wearing, saying, and doing the cool, hip things that divide young guys from old guys. The only problem is deciding what I want to do first with this new lease on life. So, I've decided to make a list, but I need some help prioritizing it and adding to it. Here's what I have so far:
1) Drive 50 in the fast lane on the 101.
2) Wear black socks with my shorts and white velcro-closure Rockport sneakers.
3) Get some of those cost-effective, durable, Junior Soprano eyeglasses.
4) Call the Barry Young Show three times per week. Minimum.
6) Eat the Early Bird Buffet at the Shoney's in Apache Junction.
7) Turn my Parrothead Club beret around the right way.
8) Get one of those three-wheel bicycles and put red warning flags on it.
9) Have engaging conversation with other members. Topic: Our prostates.
10) Move to Sun Lakes. Buy a golf cart.
Any other suggestions?
