Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Excuses, Excuses.....
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.....the Texas Titanic, the Llano Land Yacht, the reason Saudis or so damned rich, and soon to be our home for ten days.So I haven't posted much lately. No sooner did we break up the party with all the Utah people here a couple weeks ago, then Dad rolled up in the land yacht. Damn thing is so big it has a closed circuit TV in the back so you can easily see from the driver's seat whatever it was you just ran over and crushed into oblivion. I'm glad we're heading north instead of east or west. It would be confusing as hell, having the rear end of that big bastard in a different time zone. The appliances and stuff run on pretty much anything - 12 volts, 120 volts, propane, generator, batteries, a wall outlet. Even the refrigerator runs on propane, a concept that completely escapes me. Hank Hill would be proud. It weighs 23,000 lbs, holds 70 gallons of gas, 75 gallons of water, a bazillion or so cubic feet of propane, 60 gallons of "grey water" and 32 gallons of shit. Yep, that's right. Shit. Feces. Caca. Poop. Good ol' #2. Oh, and enough beer to get an entire Parrothead Club falling-down drunk.
We filled the tank this morning. It was about half full already, and it still cost us about $140. I'm guessing that's about 280 miles worth. Somewhere around $ .32 per mile. Oh, well, that's still cheaper than flying, renting a car, and paying for a hotel room. Hell, I don't even have to pay extra for my suitcase. I just know every time I pass a mile post, I'll hear the sound of a cash register in my brain - cha-ching!
Got my first lesson today in how to drive a Mega-Land Yacht: When making a right turn, do not begin the turn until the street corner is even with your shoulders. Otherwise, you smash whatever happens to be on said corner - joggers, children, little old ladies in wheel chairs, bus stops.
We leave Friday. Wish me luck.
