Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Hooked On Buffett Works For Me!
OK, I didn't see it happen. Wish I did. I was out with Wayners, Steve-o and Tipsy Tommy engaged in themost senseless and frustrating human endeavors of all - golf. But I heard the story, and this is the way I got it:
Ladybug is at home, engrossed in the fantasy world that is simply being five years old, when it comes time to shave her head while simultaneously yanking her toenails out as she soaks in a vat of diesel fuel. Actually, it was just time for her to do her homework, but both prospects have about the same effect on her.
Finally, she gets started. And she fidgets and fusses. Out of her chair, in her chair, pencil up, pencil down, play with the hair, look out the window, engage Scully in meaningful conversation on the merits of dining on the floor, do anything but this wretched homework. TFMCD puts on some music. One of those cable channels with the very relaxing stuff.
No good.
More fidgeting and fussing. Inspect the underside of the table. Stand on the chair. Sit on the table. Fiddle with the photos on display there. Finally, Mateo walks over and turns off the musical sleeping aid wafting from the TV. He puts on a Buffett CD.
Instant transformation!
Ladybug hums along, sings along, and, and, and.......
DOES HER HOMEWORK WITH GREAT DILIGENCE!!
No more problems. The job went off without a hitch. Let this be a lesson to all you parents out there who are using or considering using Ritalin. You don't need it. All you need is some Jolly Mon, Delaney Talks To Statues, and Little Miss Magic. Chills the little monsters right out.
Hell, it works for me, too!
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Ladybug is at home, engrossed in the fantasy world that is simply being five years old, when it comes time to shave her head while simultaneously yanking her toenails out as she soaks in a vat of diesel fuel. Actually, it was just time for her to do her homework, but both prospects have about the same effect on her.
Finally, she gets started. And she fidgets and fusses. Out of her chair, in her chair, pencil up, pencil down, play with the hair, look out the window, engage Scully in meaningful conversation on the merits of dining on the floor, do anything but this wretched homework. TFMCD puts on some music. One of those cable channels with the very relaxing stuff.
No good.
More fidgeting and fussing. Inspect the underside of the table. Stand on the chair. Sit on the table. Fiddle with the photos on display there. Finally, Mateo walks over and turns off the musical sleeping aid wafting from the TV. He puts on a Buffett CD.
Instant transformation!
Ladybug hums along, sings along, and, and, and.......
DOES HER HOMEWORK WITH GREAT DILIGENCE!!
No more problems. The job went off without a hitch. Let this be a lesson to all you parents out there who are using or considering using Ritalin. You don't need it. All you need is some Jolly Mon, Delaney Talks To Statues, and Little Miss Magic. Chills the little monsters right out.
Hell, it works for me, too!
