Thursday, August 04, 2005
Always Seek A Second Opinion
OK, OK, I know. Everybody warned me. I didn't listen. I'm two weeks into pool ownership and it's a pain in the ass. So far, a well worth it pain in the ass, but a PITA nonetheless. I had a salt system added on Monday, so we didn't have to put up with that nasty-ass chlorine. As a result, I've kinda kept my eye on it very closely. Today, it is a beautiful crystal clear blue color - perfect. Nonetheless, I took a sample of pool water this morning to Paddock Pools. It's a drive up there to central Mesa, their nearest store to me, but they built the pool so what the Hell? I'll let them test the water.
The woman at Paddock tested my water with their fancy computerized system. First thing she says:
How does your pool look?
"Beautiful," I say, "never better!"
OK, you've got a real problem here.Your pool is about to turn green. Here's what you need to do: Add seven pounds of Alkali, wait two hours, then add four cups of muratic acid, then wait one hour and put in ten pounds of shock.
I see my whole day pass before my eyes. I gotta work for a living, and today I'm supposed to be on the road.
"You sure? I mean, it seems like the alkali and acid would just cancel one another, and ten pounds of shock sounds like a helluva lot."
She then proceeded to explain the difference between total chlorine vs. free chlorine (Misnomer. That shit ain't even cheap, much less free) and how my pool was on the verge of disaster if I didn't shock the living shit out of it. She lost me from the beginning.
On the way back home to try to correct what I now thought to be a seriously jacked pool, I had a moment of clarity: If I went to my doctor feeling fine, and she told me I needed a heart transplant, I'd probably ask for a second opinion. So, I stopped off at Sun Devil Pools, only about a mile from Crime Dog's Margaritaville West. The guy there looks at my water analysis and says the shock prescription is right for those numbers, but he doubts the numbers. Then he chuckles and says:
That alkali and acid will just cancel each other out. It's a waste.
Vindication! Hell, I ain't a pool expert, but I knew that just from my freshman chemistry course a few decades back. He hands me a bottle, tells me to bring him a sample. I'm back there in like fifteen minutes. He checks the water the old-fashioned way. I can just tell he knows what the hell he's doing and talking about.
Nothin' wrong with your chlorine, Crime Dog. Just add some acid for your pH and you're good to go.
"All right, but you know I'm coming back here for your ass if my pool turns green."
He just smiles. Confident. He knows that pool ain't turning green.
I just got out of the pool moments ago. It's nine hours since Paddock prophesied that critters were growing in my pool as we spoke. It's still gorgeous, clear, and blue. Of course, I might walk out there in the morning and be attacked by The Creature From The Black Lagoon. But I doubt it.
Sorta reminds me of that old joke:
So, doc, what's wrong with me?
You're fat.
I want a second opinion.
OK. You're ugly, too.
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The woman at Paddock tested my water with their fancy computerized system. First thing she says:
How does your pool look?
"Beautiful," I say, "never better!"
OK, you've got a real problem here.Your pool is about to turn green. Here's what you need to do: Add seven pounds of Alkali, wait two hours, then add four cups of muratic acid, then wait one hour and put in ten pounds of shock.
I see my whole day pass before my eyes. I gotta work for a living, and today I'm supposed to be on the road.
"You sure? I mean, it seems like the alkali and acid would just cancel one another, and ten pounds of shock sounds like a helluva lot."
She then proceeded to explain the difference between total chlorine vs. free chlorine (Misnomer. That shit ain't even cheap, much less free) and how my pool was on the verge of disaster if I didn't shock the living shit out of it. She lost me from the beginning.
On the way back home to try to correct what I now thought to be a seriously jacked pool, I had a moment of clarity: If I went to my doctor feeling fine, and she told me I needed a heart transplant, I'd probably ask for a second opinion. So, I stopped off at Sun Devil Pools, only about a mile from Crime Dog's Margaritaville West. The guy there looks at my water analysis and says the shock prescription is right for those numbers, but he doubts the numbers. Then he chuckles and says:
That alkali and acid will just cancel each other out. It's a waste.
Vindication! Hell, I ain't a pool expert, but I knew that just from my freshman chemistry course a few decades back. He hands me a bottle, tells me to bring him a sample. I'm back there in like fifteen minutes. He checks the water the old-fashioned way. I can just tell he knows what the hell he's doing and talking about.
Nothin' wrong with your chlorine, Crime Dog. Just add some acid for your pH and you're good to go.
"All right, but you know I'm coming back here for your ass if my pool turns green."
He just smiles. Confident. He knows that pool ain't turning green.
I just got out of the pool moments ago. It's nine hours since Paddock prophesied that critters were growing in my pool as we spoke. It's still gorgeous, clear, and blue. Of course, I might walk out there in the morning and be attacked by The Creature From The Black Lagoon. But I doubt it.
Sorta reminds me of that old joke:
So, doc, what's wrong with me?
You're fat.
I want a second opinion.
OK. You're ugly, too.
