Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Man, Am I Tired Of These Guys....
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Everybody wants to take a poke at the French. Oui?
When will these geniuses in Hollywood finally learn to shut the fuck up? There just never seems to be a shortage of loudmouthed idiots who only have a platform because they made a couple of movies. God knows that doesn't make 'em smart, since they regularly die of overdoses, are in and out of rehab, blow millions and die broke, cannot maintain a spouse or family, and have the bad judgment to make horrendous movies like Gigli and Freddie Got Fingered. The latest dumb ass to hit the news is Maggie Gyllenhall, who said in an interview last week that the United States "is responsible in some way" for the 9/11 attacks. Well, she must be right. After all, she is acting in a movie, The Great New Wonderful, about the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, which makes her an expert. It's a lot like that bonehead who used to try to sell medicine by saying "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. I'm trying, really trying, to understand your point of view. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't get my head far enough up my ass. If you were a clerk at Wal-Mart, instead of running around naked on camera, nobody would give a flying cow cookie about what you think. So shut the fuck up, already.
That's enough of that serious crap. I'd much rather talk about the exploding toads of Hamburg, Germany. It seems the little fellers are just bloating up for some reason and self-destructing. Nobody seems able to figure out why. It's clear to me. Hell, I'm doing the same thing. It's called "The Good Life." If those little buggers lived a bit further west over in France, they'd be in a helluva lot better shape. It's the slow ones that Francois and Jean-Claude are able to catch and turn into an entree. They got nothing to worry about in Germany, so they're hammering down the high-carb insects and good beer.
Here's an idea: Turn 'em into suicide bombers. Let's airdrop a bunch of the slimy little bastards into the Seine. We'll give the French fair warning that we have frogs of mass destruction, but they'll just demand more proof. Once our exploding amphibians start popping all over Paris, the French Government will be looking for someone to surrender to. Kermit hasn't done anything lately, maybe he or that Warner Brothers singing frog are looking for work. Let' em run France.
Hell, they brought it on themselves. If you don't believe me, just ask Maggie Gyllenhall.
|
Everybody wants to take a poke at the French. Oui?
When will these geniuses in Hollywood finally learn to shut the fuck up? There just never seems to be a shortage of loudmouthed idiots who only have a platform because they made a couple of movies. God knows that doesn't make 'em smart, since they regularly die of overdoses, are in and out of rehab, blow millions and die broke, cannot maintain a spouse or family, and have the bad judgment to make horrendous movies like Gigli and Freddie Got Fingered. The latest dumb ass to hit the news is Maggie Gyllenhall, who said in an interview last week that the United States "is responsible in some way" for the 9/11 attacks. Well, she must be right. After all, she is acting in a movie, The Great New Wonderful, about the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, which makes her an expert. It's a lot like that bonehead who used to try to sell medicine by saying "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. I'm trying, really trying, to understand your point of view. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't get my head far enough up my ass. If you were a clerk at Wal-Mart, instead of running around naked on camera, nobody would give a flying cow cookie about what you think. So shut the fuck up, already.
That's enough of that serious crap. I'd much rather talk about the exploding toads of Hamburg, Germany. It seems the little fellers are just bloating up for some reason and self-destructing. Nobody seems able to figure out why. It's clear to me. Hell, I'm doing the same thing. It's called "The Good Life." If those little buggers lived a bit further west over in France, they'd be in a helluva lot better shape. It's the slow ones that Francois and Jean-Claude are able to catch and turn into an entree. They got nothing to worry about in Germany, so they're hammering down the high-carb insects and good beer.
Here's an idea: Turn 'em into suicide bombers. Let's airdrop a bunch of the slimy little bastards into the Seine. We'll give the French fair warning that we have frogs of mass destruction, but they'll just demand more proof. Once our exploding amphibians start popping all over Paris, the French Government will be looking for someone to surrender to. Kermit hasn't done anything lately, maybe he or that Warner Brothers singing frog are looking for work. Let' em run France.
Hell, they brought it on themselves. If you don't believe me, just ask Maggie Gyllenhall.
