Monday, May 21, 2007
Crime Dog On The Mend? Jury's Still Out......
Did you miss me? Been a bit under the ol' weather since last Wednesday. Ended up at the doctor on Thursday feeling like I'd been hit by a train - fever of 104+, joints and muscles feeling as though I had gotten the William Wallace treatment, head threatening to implode. To make matters worse, it felt like I pulled a groin muscle and was all hobbled up. The doc looked me over a little bit and annnounced:
"You got the flu, Crime Dog."
But, Doc! I've had the flu before. I always get the nastiest, most violent, phlegm attack imaginable. But I'm not coughing or sneezing or nuthin', Doc.
"Well, Crime Dog, there are about 100 different influenza viruses. You caught one that doesn't make you cough and sneeze. Count yourself lucky, take these pills, and ride it out."
So, off I go, sicker'n the proverbial dog. By Friday night, the fever was down to 100 or so and I started feeling human again. Saturday morning, even better. The leg pain had now stretched all the way down to my ankle, but the flu seemed to be surrendering.
I was walking out of the bathroom later in the morning when TFMCD says "What the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks is going on with your leg?" I knew it hurt, but I hadn't really looked at it. My shin and ankle were about the color of a ripe pomegranate, all swelled up, and had a sort of shiny look. She put her hand on the swollen area. It was hot enough to bake a pizza, and so sensitive it hurt at the lightest touch. Looking more closely, we saw a redness and swelling all the way up to The Boys' little hideaway. So much for a pulled groin muscle.
So, it was off to urgent care. The doc there took some blood to test, and told us the results would dictate whether our next destination was home or the hospital. Thankfully, it was the former. The test results showed my "white count" normal. He wrote me a prescription and I headed home to elevate it and hope for the best.
Didn't happen. The antibiotic didn't put a dent in the shit. By this morning, it was more red, more swollen, more painful.......back to the freakin' doctor. She sent me for an ultrasound. It's a little weird having a woman I'm not married to lube me up stick a vibrating tool in my crotch, and.....OK, that would even be a little weird for TFMCD.....Anyway, there are no blockages or problems that might cause me to suddenly talk out the side of my mouth or flop down and take a dirt nap. The doc announced I have a leg infection, apparently from some sort of wound. The other shit was the flu. Just a coincidence.
Coincidence? I think not.
I have no knowledge of having cut, poked, strafed, sliced, diced, or julienned any portion of my right leg in recent memory. How the fuck did the bugs get in there? And why isn't my white count elevated? I'm no doctor, but something ain't right here.....
I have a new antibiotic, a sulfa, that we hope will kill it. I can still hear the the microbial bastards laughing at the erythromycin coursing through my veins. Well, there's a new sheriff in town, assholes. We'll see who's laughing in a couple of days.
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"You got the flu, Crime Dog."
But, Doc! I've had the flu before. I always get the nastiest, most violent, phlegm attack imaginable. But I'm not coughing or sneezing or nuthin', Doc.
"Well, Crime Dog, there are about 100 different influenza viruses. You caught one that doesn't make you cough and sneeze. Count yourself lucky, take these pills, and ride it out."
So, off I go, sicker'n the proverbial dog. By Friday night, the fever was down to 100 or so and I started feeling human again. Saturday morning, even better. The leg pain had now stretched all the way down to my ankle, but the flu seemed to be surrendering.
I was walking out of the bathroom later in the morning when TFMCD says "What the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks is going on with your leg?" I knew it hurt, but I hadn't really looked at it. My shin and ankle were about the color of a ripe pomegranate, all swelled up, and had a sort of shiny look. She put her hand on the swollen area. It was hot enough to bake a pizza, and so sensitive it hurt at the lightest touch. Looking more closely, we saw a redness and swelling all the way up to The Boys' little hideaway. So much for a pulled groin muscle.
So, it was off to urgent care. The doc there took some blood to test, and told us the results would dictate whether our next destination was home or the hospital. Thankfully, it was the former. The test results showed my "white count" normal. He wrote me a prescription and I headed home to elevate it and hope for the best.
Didn't happen. The antibiotic didn't put a dent in the shit. By this morning, it was more red, more swollen, more painful.......back to the freakin' doctor. She sent me for an ultrasound. It's a little weird having a woman I'm not married to lube me up stick a vibrating tool in my crotch, and.....OK, that would even be a little weird for TFMCD.....Anyway, there are no blockages or problems that might cause me to suddenly talk out the side of my mouth or flop down and take a dirt nap. The doc announced I have a leg infection, apparently from some sort of wound. The other shit was the flu. Just a coincidence.
Coincidence? I think not.
I have no knowledge of having cut, poked, strafed, sliced, diced, or julienned any portion of my right leg in recent memory. How the fuck did the bugs get in there? And why isn't my white count elevated? I'm no doctor, but something ain't right here.....
I have a new antibiotic, a sulfa, that we hope will kill it. I can still hear the the microbial bastards laughing at the erythromycin coursing through my veins. Well, there's a new sheriff in town, assholes. We'll see who's laughing in a couple of days.
