Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Can We Just Move On?
We're headed into Day 3 now of the confirmation hearings for Hizzoner John Roberts, and it's a complete joke. Our illustrious leaders spend ten minutes asking dumbass questions so convoluted as to defy understanding, and which are really just thinly-veiled political statements. I've even heard them mention Katrina and the New Orleans devastation a couple of times, like it has some application to selecting a Supreme Court nominee. A Republican smiles and tosses softballs and makes the guy look good, and then a Democrat comes right back and beats him like a rented mule.
These grandstanding leeches we elect to represent us are simply regurgitating carefully scriptedspeeches questions designed to either:
A: Make George Bush look bad, or
B. Make George Bush look good.
Look, you bunch of congressional idgits, we all know what question you want answered. This is not brain surgery:
Judge Roberts, will you use your authority on the Supreme Court to try and overturn Roe v Wade?
What's in his brain is just what George Bush wants:
You fuckin' A Tweety I will. The sooner the better.
But what he actually says is:
It would be inappropriate for me to comment on cases that may yet come before me, Senator.
Unless this guy gets caught with a live boy or a dead girl in his hotel room tonight, there's really very little chance that he won't be confirmed. So why don't we move on to what's really important:
Judge, will you support a constitutional amendment outlawing artificial turf and designated hitters?
Where do you stand on outlawing those tummy-baring tops on chicks with fat rolls?
Capital punishment for telemarketers. We're for it. What do you think?
What do you guys really wear under your robes?
Can you ask Senator Kennedy to put his pants back on and share his Scotch for once?
If Senator Feinstein was a hot, moist chocolate chip cookie, and you had a big glass of milk, what would you do to her? Oh, sorry...this isn't "The Dating Game?"
Where is the strangest place you and your wife ever made whoopee? What? It's not "The Newlywed Game" either?
In the category, "Decisions I Want To Overturn" the Jeapordy answer is "It protects a woman's right to a safe and legal abortion." Your response please?
and finally,
How about we blow this off and go get some beer?
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These grandstanding leeches we elect to represent us are simply regurgitating carefully scripted
A: Make George Bush look bad, or
B. Make George Bush look good.
Look, you bunch of congressional idgits, we all know what question you want answered. This is not brain surgery:
Judge Roberts, will you use your authority on the Supreme Court to try and overturn Roe v Wade?
What's in his brain is just what George Bush wants:
You fuckin' A Tweety I will. The sooner the better.
But what he actually says is:
It would be inappropriate for me to comment on cases that may yet come before me, Senator.
Unless this guy gets caught with a live boy or a dead girl in his hotel room tonight, there's really very little chance that he won't be confirmed. So why don't we move on to what's really important:
Judge, will you support a constitutional amendment outlawing artificial turf and designated hitters?
Where do you stand on outlawing those tummy-baring tops on chicks with fat rolls?
Capital punishment for telemarketers. We're for it. What do you think?
What do you guys really wear under your robes?
Can you ask Senator Kennedy to put his pants back on and share his Scotch for once?
If Senator Feinstein was a hot, moist chocolate chip cookie, and you had a big glass of milk, what would you do to her? Oh, sorry...this isn't "The Dating Game?"
Where is the strangest place you and your wife ever made whoopee? What? It's not "The Newlywed Game" either?
In the category, "Decisions I Want To Overturn" the Jeapordy answer is "It protects a woman's right to a safe and legal abortion." Your response please?
and finally,
How about we blow this off and go get some beer?
