Thursday, April 03, 2008
Tips On Spring Cleaning
The Crime Dog is a giver. Everybody knows that. It's why I'm here, with all my fellow giver Parrothead Phriends. And in that spirit, I want those who care to do so to be able to follow in my wake....For I have plowed the seas and smoothed the troubled waters.
My back patio got rather dirty with all of the rain and muddy dog tracks and whatnot that accrued this winter, much while I was sick there for a while. Then, when illness was no longer a viable excuse, I fell back on the ol' reliable hedonistic one: It's easier to not scrub the patio.
But a couple weeks ago, with the weather warming and the pool beckoning, I decided I had to get it done. With not one moment more of procrastination, I promptly went out and did absolutely nothing about my decision. Until, that is, I found myself at the hardware store on an unrelated matter. And I saw it. The answer to my problem, very plain to see, was on the end cap of Aisle 15 at Ace Hardware.
It was a 1600psi pressure washer. It was on sale. Clearly, God had placed it there before me, had led me to it, and wanted me to have it. Who am I to question the almighty?
Just looking at the box sent me into a chest-thumping testosterone-fueled frenzy.
ar ar Ar Ar ARGH ARRRGH! Must HAVE it! NOW!
So, I took it home, hooked it up, and went to work on my patio. Beer in one hand, sprayer in the other, all was right in my world. You could eat off that patio when I was done.
Hell, if it works that good on my patio, imagine what it could do on other household chores? For two weeks, I used it on everything I could possibly think of. That's where the giver comes in. I have prepared for you all a list of things that you need to know do not respond well to 1600psi of spinning water.
Follow in my wake, and avoid pressure washing the following:
1) Canvass hammock. It gets clean, but you can actually read through it afterwards.
2) Feet. Regardless of how dirty.
3) Flip flops. They actually get quite clean. You will, however, have to retrieve them from your neighbor's yard after blasting them, unless you hold them down with your feet while washing. (See #2)
4) House cats. They object. Strenuously.
5) Resist the temptation to multitask. Watering your potted plants with a pressure washer is a bad idea. Remember Agent Orange? Same effect.
6) A shower stall. Wonderful idea in theory, not so good in practice. One split second shot into your soapdish = tsunami. You'll be wiping water off your ceiling for an hour.
7) The inside of your gas grill. Blech. External use only, please.
Hope this helps. Once the weather turns off hot, I'll tie the trigger down, bolt the sprayer to the fence, and use it as a mister system. I'll let you know how that works out.
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My back patio got rather dirty with all of the rain and muddy dog tracks and whatnot that accrued this winter, much while I was sick there for a while. Then, when illness was no longer a viable excuse, I fell back on the ol' reliable hedonistic one: It's easier to not scrub the patio.
But a couple weeks ago, with the weather warming and the pool beckoning, I decided I had to get it done. With not one moment more of procrastination, I promptly went out and did absolutely nothing about my decision. Until, that is, I found myself at the hardware store on an unrelated matter. And I saw it. The answer to my problem, very plain to see, was on the end cap of Aisle 15 at Ace Hardware.
It was a 1600psi pressure washer. It was on sale. Clearly, God had placed it there before me, had led me to it, and wanted me to have it. Who am I to question the almighty?
Just looking at the box sent me into a chest-thumping testosterone-fueled frenzy.
ar ar Ar Ar ARGH ARRRGH! Must HAVE it! NOW!
So, I took it home, hooked it up, and went to work on my patio. Beer in one hand, sprayer in the other, all was right in my world. You could eat off that patio when I was done.
Hell, if it works that good on my patio, imagine what it could do on other household chores? For two weeks, I used it on everything I could possibly think of. That's where the giver comes in. I have prepared for you all a list of things that you need to know do not respond well to 1600psi of spinning water.
Follow in my wake, and avoid pressure washing the following:
1) Canvass hammock. It gets clean, but you can actually read through it afterwards.
2) Feet. Regardless of how dirty.
3) Flip flops. They actually get quite clean. You will, however, have to retrieve them from your neighbor's yard after blasting them, unless you hold them down with your feet while washing. (See #2)
4) House cats. They object. Strenuously.
5) Resist the temptation to multitask. Watering your potted plants with a pressure washer is a bad idea. Remember Agent Orange? Same effect.
6) A shower stall. Wonderful idea in theory, not so good in practice. One split second shot into your soapdish = tsunami. You'll be wiping water off your ceiling for an hour.
7) The inside of your gas grill. Blech. External use only, please.
Hope this helps. Once the weather turns off hot, I'll tie the trigger down, bolt the sprayer to the fence, and use it as a mister system. I'll let you know how that works out.
