Thursday, July 26, 2007
Did You Miss Me?
I haven't been around a lot lately - got a lot of other stuff happening - but I had to get on here today and comment on a couple of things:
1) Living in Arizona is better than living in other states. Why? Because when you have to enter your state on one of those Internet dropdown menus, it's right up at the top between Alaska and Arkansas. You don't have to scroll down looking for it, then accidentally pass it, then scroll back up and pass it again before finally clicking it. Alabama might be better in this regard, but that would require you to....well, live in Alabama.
2) I live near the end of a cul de sac, which is just a nice way of saying "dead end." There's only one way in, and one way out. That means when I drive home in my car, I always see my house from the exact same angle. That gets boring, so sometimes I like to drive to the end of the cul de sac, do a u-turn, and see my house from another angle when I arrive home. It looks nicer from that side.
3) I went to Wal Mart a couple days ago. I know, I know......Wal Mart is Satan's Retail Outlet, and The Crime Dog despises it and refuses to shop there. But Wal Mart was the only place that had the replacement gazebo top I needed. My old top mostly blew off in the Monday monsoon. The metal frame provides shade only if you have the physique of Mary-Kate Olsen. As it turns out, they don't keep the damned thing in stock, so I had to order it anyway. But damn, that place is well-stocked and cheap. I bought a whole load of other shit, just so they would know who's in control here.
4) Yahoo reported today on this fracking cat named "Oscar" that can predict when people in a nursing home are going to croak. Yeah, right. It knows when someone is about to take the eternal dirt nap, because when no one is looking, it sucks out the patient's breath and kills him.
5) My worst nightmare for a while has been "passing out in doctor's office, and waking up to find Nurse Unruly Julie hovering over me." Well, that just got upgraded. It's now:
Passing out in doctor's office, and waking up to find Nurse Unruly Julie hovering over me, holding Oscar The Cat and saying "good boy, you found another one'"
Better keep that creepy little bastard away from me, or I'll predict his death.
6) The AZ Republic reported today that a new study links obesity to relationships, and I quote: If your friends and family get fat, chances are you will too.....A person's chances of becoming obese went up 57 percent if a friend gained weight.
We're all screwed.....
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1) Living in Arizona is better than living in other states. Why? Because when you have to enter your state on one of those Internet dropdown menus, it's right up at the top between Alaska and Arkansas. You don't have to scroll down looking for it, then accidentally pass it, then scroll back up and pass it again before finally clicking it. Alabama might be better in this regard, but that would require you to....well, live in Alabama.
2) I live near the end of a cul de sac, which is just a nice way of saying "dead end." There's only one way in, and one way out. That means when I drive home in my car, I always see my house from the exact same angle. That gets boring, so sometimes I like to drive to the end of the cul de sac, do a u-turn, and see my house from another angle when I arrive home. It looks nicer from that side.
3) I went to Wal Mart a couple days ago. I know, I know......Wal Mart is Satan's Retail Outlet, and The Crime Dog despises it and refuses to shop there. But Wal Mart was the only place that had the replacement gazebo top I needed. My old top mostly blew off in the Monday monsoon. The metal frame provides shade only if you have the physique of Mary-Kate Olsen. As it turns out, they don't keep the damned thing in stock, so I had to order it anyway. But damn, that place is well-stocked and cheap. I bought a whole load of other shit, just so they would know who's in control here.
4) Yahoo reported today on this fracking cat named "Oscar" that can predict when people in a nursing home are going to croak. Yeah, right. It knows when someone is about to take the eternal dirt nap, because when no one is looking, it sucks out the patient's breath and kills him.
5) My worst nightmare for a while has been "passing out in doctor's office, and waking up to find Nurse Unruly Julie hovering over me." Well, that just got upgraded. It's now:
Passing out in doctor's office, and waking up to find Nurse Unruly Julie hovering over me, holding Oscar The Cat and saying "good boy, you found another one'"
Better keep that creepy little bastard away from me, or I'll predict his death.
6) The AZ Republic reported today that a new study links obesity to relationships, and I quote: If your friends and family get fat, chances are you will too.....A person's chances of becoming obese went up 57 percent if a friend gained weight.
We're all screwed.....
