Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Geezer Golf
I played golf this past weekend with Wayners, Last Stan Manning, and Steve-O. It was a nice course, down there in Geezerville, otherwise known as Sun Lakes. It was setting up the tee time that was a challenge:
Brrring!!
Golf Guy: Thank you for calling Anal Retentive Old Fogey Golf Club. May I assist you?
Me: Yes, I'd like a tee time for a foursome on Saturday, please.
Golf Guy: Of course. How does 8:00 sound?
Me: It sounds too early and too cold.
Golf Guy: Well, our only other tee time is 1:00.
Me: That's it? Two tee times all day?
Golf Guy: Well, we have 8:00 and 1:00 shotguns, but no staggered tee times at all.
Me: Too bad. My group really kind of needs a staggering tee time, y'know?
Golf Guy: Excuse me?
Me: Never mind. 1:00 Saturday won't work, but we'll take the 1:00 Sunday time.
Golf Guy: I don't have anything right around 1:00 on Sunday.
Me: I thought you used shotgun starts?
Golf Guy: Only on Saturday. We're not nearly as busy on Sunday.
Me: Ah, yes, Church. Sun Lakes is Heaven's Waiting Room. OK, what times do you have?
Golf Guy: How is 12:45?
Me: Didn't you just say you don't have anything right around 1:00?
Golf Guy: Yes sir.
Me: So, 12:45 is not right around 1:00??
Golf Guy: No, sir. It's course policy. Anything over ten minutes is not right around.
Me: So what is fifteen minutes?
Golf Guy: That's in the vicinity of.
Me: Twenty?
Golf Guy: That's considered pretty close.
Me: Thirty minutes?
Golf Guy: That's a gray area. I prefer the best we can do. The other pro is fond of whistling distance.
Me: Whatever. Give me the 12:45.
Golf Guy: OK, and you do have a foursome, correct?
Me: We have right around a foursome. Will there be a refreshment cart?
Golf Guy: No sir. But there are restrooms on the front and back.
Me: If you have no refreshment cart, why do you even need restrooms?
Golf Guy: Well, this is Sun Lakes, sir.
|
Brrring!!
Golf Guy: Thank you for calling Anal Retentive Old Fogey Golf Club. May I assist you?
Me: Yes, I'd like a tee time for a foursome on Saturday, please.
Golf Guy: Of course. How does 8:00 sound?
Me: It sounds too early and too cold.
Golf Guy: Well, our only other tee time is 1:00.
Me: That's it? Two tee times all day?
Golf Guy: Well, we have 8:00 and 1:00 shotguns, but no staggered tee times at all.
Me: Too bad. My group really kind of needs a staggering tee time, y'know?
Golf Guy: Excuse me?
Me: Never mind. 1:00 Saturday won't work, but we'll take the 1:00 Sunday time.
Golf Guy: I don't have anything right around 1:00 on Sunday.
Me: I thought you used shotgun starts?
Golf Guy: Only on Saturday. We're not nearly as busy on Sunday.
Me: Ah, yes, Church. Sun Lakes is Heaven's Waiting Room. OK, what times do you have?
Golf Guy: How is 12:45?
Me: Didn't you just say you don't have anything right around 1:00?
Golf Guy: Yes sir.
Me: So, 12:45 is not right around 1:00??
Golf Guy: No, sir. It's course policy. Anything over ten minutes is not right around.
Me: So what is fifteen minutes?
Golf Guy: That's in the vicinity of.
Me: Twenty?
Golf Guy: That's considered pretty close.
Me: Thirty minutes?
Golf Guy: That's a gray area. I prefer the best we can do. The other pro is fond of whistling distance.
Me: Whatever. Give me the 12:45.
Golf Guy: OK, and you do have a foursome, correct?
Me: We have right around a foursome. Will there be a refreshment cart?
Golf Guy: No sir. But there are restrooms on the front and back.
Me: If you have no refreshment cart, why do you even need restrooms?
Golf Guy: Well, this is Sun Lakes, sir.
