Saturday, February 12, 2005
On Stupid Stars and Gay Penguins
Outed penguin couple Felipe and Glenn lead their colony in a
rousing rendition of "In The Navy."
Just when you think the news is getting really boring, you can always count on someone famous to do something so stupid that it reaffirms your faith in Desdemona and her Cosmic Bakers. Tom Sizemore, of "Saving Private Ryan" and "Blackhawk Down" fame, got his ass thrown in the hole for taking a drug test with a fake penis. I'd like to see that arrest report. I mean, what went wrong? Did it slip from his hand and fall to the floor? And where in the name of Zeus do you get something like that? Maybe Dick's Last Resort?
Oh, and then we find that a German zoo has "outed" a bunch of gay penguins. Does it get any more fun that that? Zookeepers theorized the little guys were gay when they saw them trying to mate with one another, and one same-sex couple was even trying to hatch offspring from a rock. That belief was affirmed when they were seen doing each other's hair while watching reruns of The Christopher Lowell Show. Not to mention, they had the best window treatments in the entire Antarctic Exhibit. Now, the zookeepers are trying to un-gay the penguins by shipping in some females, thus tempting them into changing sides. I'm guessing the females will tempt the gay males, but only to do makeovers on their own slob boyfriends. Queer Eye for the Straight Penguin, Anyone?
